The Selflove Blog

Start A Selflove Journal

Do you figure at Number One on your to-do list?

How you spend your money, time and energy is a very easy way to map your self-love quotient.

Apart from various needs, necessities and duties, how much of these three you channel towards your own life, growth and well-being often shows how much you prioritise yourself. There is always a chore to finish, a commitment to meet, a job to be done – but on your to do list where exactly do you figure on your daily schedule is a good place to begin when you are working on your selflove project.

There’s work, there’s daily mundane details and then there’s social media – how and where your energy is squandered over calls and meetings and emails? Do you keep track? We often do not wake up to our duties before our body gives us a wakeup call – an ailment, a disorder.

But the truth is that the only way to be in sync with your soul-needs is through a daily ritual, a routine, a goal.

A simple thing I follow is to do three things during the day, straight from the heart – something that is utterly, selfishly simple personal gratification. It can be having a cup of hot chocolate at a café, putting on a crazy shade of nail-colour or even just taking half an hour to go browse books at a bookstore. Things that have nothing to do with anybody – and very essentially me.

It is not that I do these things as pick-me-ups on a dull day. I treat these as serious business. I get an immense sense of wellbeing from these tiny chunks of indulgence that I chisel out from my packed   day. And these are places from where I draw an immense sense of wellbeing – no matter what.

There are two things which are absolutely unnecessary – one to feel guilty about spending time on your own self. The other thing which is absolutely unnecessary is to feel guilty of spending your own money on your own self. Selflove is about self-awareness too. A good place to start your selflove journey is by creating a selflove journal.

Step 1: Sit down with a pretty notebook and make a list of the stuff that makes you absolutely delirious.

Here’s a clue: Often these simple mundane feelgood activities, in all honesty will not come to you from your adult experience, so start looking at your carefree childhood memories for things that your loved doing then. Was it drawing with colours? Was it playing with your dog? Was it eating ice-cream? Was it eating pickle? It could well be an adult hobby like playing golf that brings you great joy – but childhood favourites are often key to pure bliss, even in adulthood. I don’t know what brought you great joy as a child, but chances are your clue to joy in adult life could also be in doing those once in a while. I loved books and drawing since I was a kid and for me it is very easy to reconnect with my joy, the moment I pick up paper and colour to create something. It is as easy as that.

Step 2: Make a detailed list of as many things that honestly make you happy. Make a list of people around whom you feel happy. Make a list of places where you feel joyous. Make a list of food stuff that makes you full and content. Make a list of activities that makes you feel at the top of the world.

Step 3: Once your have created a list, it gets very easy to identify where your joy lies. All you now have to do is meet your happy people more often, visit your happy places more frequently and eat your happy foods more and finally do your happy things more frequently.

You should at the same time, also make a list of places, things, people and activities which you absolutely dislike. An honest look at both these lists will tell you something about yourself and where your joy lies. If you are spending more time, energy and money on your ‘dislike’ areas, you would know that you have a lot of self-loving to do.

Make a switch. Start small. Take it up as a daily ritual – over three weeks, a simple selflove routine will transform you and show you truths about yourself that you did not know existed.     

The Selflove Blog

Start With Forgiveness

Forgiveness of anything that you may have to grow through and forgiveness of anyone who may have judged you or even harmed you. And while creating that list, don’t add yourself to it as well. Very often the toughest deal is to be forgive our own selves.

The journey from self-neglect to selflove must definitely move through an essential step – forgiveness. Forgiveness of people, incidents, situations, experiences. Anyone who may have ever hurt you – let go.

How to forgive yourself?

Guilt is a slow-poison. It kills over time and destroys your trust towards your own self and further erodes self-confidence. If there is anything in your life for which you feel guilty – it is time to let it go. And then start-over. Start with selflove. Selflove is self-acceptance.

Acceptance is about embracing the whole and not parts. And if we have the courage to look at ourselves honestly, there would be many occasions when we have not been particularly proud of ourselves. Some things we said, or did which may have caused hurt or harm. These things belong to the past. Unless we absolutely uproot and release these nagging pains – there is no way that selflove and growth can flourish.

How to forgive others?

Make a list of people you hold responsible and don’t feel easy to forgive. Make a list of occasions when you have really not been at your best, and they continue to affect you.

Now decide to release both.

The forgiveness ritual is about considering each of the occasion, try and absorb the wisdom and then let it go. We often cling too much to the past. We create a comfort around those incidents which may have affected us deeply. We create an identity around these experiences while in reality, time may have moved on.

This is the best way to achieve peace and grow. Make it a daily practice, a night ritual. This is the greatest act of selflove you would practice in life.

Only after forgiveness, down love flow.

There are various healing techniques like Hoponopono practice which helps to release tough emotions. To the person or situation you release, say – I thank you, I love you, I forgive you and I am sorry. It is easy to understand this ritual – because everyone we meet or every incident that occurs has something to teach, we express gratitude. Then we extend unconditional love to that person. Because the universe doesn’t choose and bestows freely – by giving unconditional love, we mimic the intelligence of the universe. Once you have already given unconditional love, forgiveness is easy and finally apologise to take ownership of any hurt you may too have caused.

The journey from self-neglect to selflove must definitely move through an essential step – forgiveness. Forgiveness of people, incidents, situations, experiences. Anyone who may have ever hurt you – let go.

Forgiveness of anything that you may have to grow through and forgiveness of anyone who may have judged you or even harmed you. And while creating that list, don’t add yourself to it as well. Very often the toughest deal is to be forgive our own selves.

How to forgive yourself?

Guilt is a slow-poison. It kills over time and destroys your trust towards your own self and further erodes self-confidence. If there is anything in your life for which you feel guilty – it is time to let it go. And then start-over. Start with selflove. Selflove is self-acceptance.

Acceptance is about embracing the whole and not parts. And if we have the courage to look at ourselves honestly, there would be many occasions when we have not been particularly proud of ourselves. Some things we said, or did which may have caused hurt or harm. These things belong to the past. Unless we absolutely uproot and release these nagging pains – there is no way that selflove and growth can flourish.

How to forgive others?

Make a list of people you hold responsible and don’t feel easy to forgive. Make a list of occasions when you have really not been at your best, and they continue to affect you.

Now decide to release both.

The forgiveness ritual is about considering each of the occasion, try and absorb the wisdom and then let it go. We often cling too much to the past. We create a comfort around those incidents which may have affected us deeply. We create an identity around these experiences while in reality, time may have moved on.

Only after forgiveness, down love flow.

There are various healing techniques like Hoponopono practice which helps to release tough emotions. To the person or situation you release, say – I thank you, I love you, I forgive you and I am sorry. It is easy to understand this ritual – because everyone we meet or every incident that occurs has something to teach, we express gratitude. Then we extend unconditional love to that person. Because the universe doesn’t choose and bestows freely – by giving unconditional love, we mimic the intelligence of the universe. Once you have already given unconditional love, forgiveness is easy and finally apologise to take ownership of any hurt you may too have caused.

This is the best way to achieve peace and grow. Make it a daily practice, a night ritual. This is the greatest act of selflove you would practice in life.

The Selflove Blog

The Self-love Project

This year, it is different.

This year is not about pushing around, setting lofty targets. This year is about listening. It is about listening closely to many a whisper from the heart that have gone unheard.

It is about self-love and acceptance.

Life-bruised souls, so little we do to make time and listen. Rest, reflection and becoming whole is work. They need effort. This is a cry to listen up to forgotten dreams, to childish fancies. It is time to stop running. It is time to make time.

Pay attention.

A healing journey that I started 10 years ago, has taken me through a long-winded journey. Finally, the message through the growth path has been of self-acceptance, forgiveness to emerge peaceful and whole.

Self-love is a profound emotion. It is about being able to see yourself in the mirror without the veneer of your adopted masks. It is about facing your true vulnerability and loving yourself for your scars. It is also about learning your true human value and embracing your path.

The damage caused by others action is sometimes immense. The damage we cause ourselves is immense too. Both need forgiving.

But before all that can start, we must foremost commit to ourselves in this journey. No matter how or when we may have been left alone, we always had ourselves by our own side.

We abandon ourselves, move from our determined paths and forget our dreams. The biggest act of self-love is to have to be your own true friend.

No matter what., hold yourself tight.

Let me take you through this wonderful journey – let me help you give yourself RIDICULOUS amounts of LOVE.

Let me help you fall in love with YOU.